Air travel in the social media age has lost the plot. It’s as though someone opened a can of Karen magic dust, sprinkled it everywhere, and waited for the outcome. From shouting at air stewards to telling the passengers how a seat neighbor is “not real,” air travel involves much controversy. A recent online post shares travelers’ picks for the craziest things they overheard on an airplane.
1. A Boyfriend’s New Boat
Flying solo to Orlando, an air traveler was tired of his neighbor’s ravings about her boyfriend’s new boat that she couldn’t wait to see, so she sought refuge. “I nodded and put my headphones in,” says the weary commenter, “and about one minute later, she grabbed the cord on my headphones and pulled it out of my ear so she could blather on about it.”
2. Settle Down, Son
The following air traveler regales with a hilarious encounter involving a father and son she once overheard. “The kid was telling his dad how much he loved the song “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye,” says the commenter. “When the kid was finally done talking, the dad just looked at him and said, ‘You’re a virgin.'”
3. A Good Yarn
In a scene from The Beverly Hillbillies, a conversation between a husband and wife stands out in the thread. “Some guy told his partner that she didn’t need more yarn, and every woman in earshot promptly told him how wrong he was.” I can’t help but smile at this juxtaposition of modern air travel and cultural throwback.
4. The Brotherhood
“Two Mormon missionaries trying to convert the sweet, naive man sitting between them the entire flight,” begins the next thread. Some might find this scenario unsettling, though I think Mormons are so nice that it sounds harmless. However, the “sweet, naive man” could one day find two smartly dressed people standing outside his house with clipboards.
5. The Switch
A poster says how a kid, quietly sitting in the next seat, suddenly launched into a terrifying meltdown as the plane started moving, screaming that everyone on the plane would die. “Eventually, and for no noticeable reason, the kid relaxes and starts talking about how cool flying is,” explains the contributor. “Like a switch, he starts looking out the window, saying things like, ‘Wow! The view is really cool! I feel safe now; everything is okay after all.'”
6. Mile-High Hatred
A blood-boiling exchange between an impatient passenger threatened to get violent after a couple’s baby had struggled the entire flight. The commenter recalls the man telling the couple that they were awful parents. “We made it to Seattle, and the guy ended up having to be tackled by four cops at the gate because he was trying to run away,” the commenter explains.
7. Friendly Bikers
A similar incident — which must always happen — involves a selfish businessman raging at another exhausted couple. However, this time, passengers had the couple’s backs. “A big biker dude stood up behind him and calmly explained how the babies can’t equalize the pressure in their ears like adults can and are in pain the entire time,” explains a witness. The biker then instructed the man to kindly stop talking before advising him to sit down — which, under duress, he did.
8. Plotting Homicide?
Someone remembers flying as a teenager and eavesdropping on two married men who boasted of abusing their wives and children. They then pondered the grounds upon which they could murder their poor wives. “They were giggling like school children,” shares the disgusted contributor. “They definitely did not realize I spoke Spanish and probably thought I couldn’t understand them.”
9. Secret Servicing
“A guy coming home early to bust a cheating wife,” posts someone. “He was on the phone with a friend who told him the other guy was at his house, and they didn’t expect him back until the next week.” I love this story, and I am sure the poster cannot believe how perfect the thread subject is for his anecdote.
10. Penance Airlines
A sad story on all counts involves one commenter’s recollection of a drunk college student on their way home for the summer. The young man started crying, admitting he had killed his best friend in a drunk driving accident. “Because he had good lawyers, he got off without jail time,” recalls the passenger. “He was sobbing and drinking. When we landed, I made sure he was not driving.”
What weird conversations have you heard on a flight?
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